Poem Review: As I Grew Older

As I Grew Older by Langston Hughes

It was a long time ago.
I have almost forgotten my dream.
But it was there then,
In front of me,
Bright like a sun—
My dream.
And then the wall rose,
Rose slowly,
Slowly,
Between me and my dream.
Rose until it touched the sky—
The wall.
Shadow.
I am black.
I lie down in the shadow.
No longer the light of my dream before me,
Above me.
Only the thick wall.
Only the shadow.
My hands!
My dark hands!
Break through the wall!
Find my dream!
Help me to shatter this darkness,
To smash this night,
To break this shadow
Into a thousand lights of sun,
Into a thousand whirling dreams
Of sun!

Commentary: The poem As I Grew Older by the American poet Langston Hughes (1901 – 1967) is about as real as it gets. It’s both sobering and somewhat hopeful. From my experiences, the sentiments expressed in the poem are so true as one grows older and accumulates life experience. The poem is a metaphor for the human condition where we let society slowly but surely snuff out our dreams. We let things such as career expectations, family obligations, accumulating material goods, constant social comparisons, and other distractions slowly but surely take over; after years of fulfilling societal obligations, we become lost and forget who we are as people. It’s like a “wall” that “rose slowly, slowly…” until the dream is snuffed out. By that time, only dramatic action to “break through the wall” will there be a chance for the dream to be recovered. Only then does a person rediscover the “light” they once had in their youth. And that’s if they are lucky: The truth is that many people never actually “break through the wall” and they resign themselves to the situation they are in for perpetuity. Past a certain point, a person has no choice nor mobility to maneuver based on the decisions of the past.

Think how many people had dreams as kids where they wanted to be something (i.e. an astronaut, author, business owner, etc.), but ended up somewhere not even close to what they once wanted? I can’t speak for women, but for men there’s a saying by Henry David Thoreau: “The mass of men lead lives of quiet desperation.” The saying is very true. Many men (especially men in mid-life) desperately want to be someone or do something that makes them feel alive, but can’t anymore because of obligations and the limited mobility that obligations present. So they go back everyday to a job with limited passion, limited drive, and no sense of ownership, with no idea on how to change the situation. This is not true for every man, but I think most guys get the gist of what I mean if they are being honest. I may not have captured the sentiment totally correctly, but this is what I’ve observed when I’ve talked to friends about life in their mid-30s to early-40s.

Therefore I say to all people: “dare to dream greatly, be brave enough to go after your dreams, and protect your dreams at all costs. This is not selfish and don’t apologize to anyone for this, ever.”